even as i finished typing out my resignation letter, my hand automatically moved to the ‘word count’ box in Word. 197 words. ah, my patrakarita reflexes! i have been trained well by now. one and a half years at republica and a year at the kathmandu post (this was way back).
it was a lazy saturday afternoon and the office was quite empty – a typical saturday. the newsroom was however, not closed for the day. it never is. i collected my belongings – most of them were brochures, invitations and catalogues of art exhibitions – and put them in my mandala books ko jhola. it felt like any other day, packing up to leave for home, only that it wasn’t 8:30 pm or 11:30 pm…it was in the late afternoon…felt abnormal to go home at that hour.
i left my desk empty, my board pricked with colorful thumb pins tacking nothing onto the hard orange ‘cushion’, and my computer screen blank in black — no crazy artworks on the desktop, no bansky, no edward hopper, no shepard fairey, no marlene dumas, no degas, no warhol, no ida applebroog, no jake messing, no roberto cavalli, no nancy spero. i think my best discovery of last year is a painting by marlene dumas. i keep coming back to it and got it printed eight times, so that i could paste it in my sketch book. a colleague had commented, “harey, pheri tyehi print garecha!”
and so when i headed home, it felt like any other day. perhaps, it was because no one knew that i was leaving republica and perhaps, it was because my teammates weren’t there at work. of course, i am still going to continue to write, in particular, for the Arts section. maybe, that’s why i don’t necessarily feel like i totally quit. i enjoy writing and i’ll continue to do so. and come on, no one’s separating me from art.
i am thankful to ujjwal dai for his encouraging words..(tyo pani angrezi ma hehehe). no, seriously. what he said to me will always be in my mind. thank you ujjwal dai for truly understanding my decision.
and to the team of The Week…thank you for making that corner in the office a second home — the music always on, someone always complaining, someone always laughing for no particular reason, someone always pushing my chair :-P, someone always joking about some weird youtube video, someone always venting, someone always putting envelopes on my desk, someone changing my facebook status while i was not looking, someone making me coffee or tea, someone always commenting on my get up and hair, someone emailing me links on art, someone always telling me to stop getting too stressed out, someone always collecting printed pages from the printer for me :-P even though i was stationed the closest to the printer, someone always appreciating my work and efforts, someone always chatting with me online from a computer away!
and on thursday afternoons – all of us typing away frantically, like we were on a raft that was going to take a plunge down a huge waterfall, in a few minutes. oh goodness! it’s already four o’clock and i have only written 300 words! blah blah is going to kill me. and yes, i was probably going to kill one of you. i no longer will, but someone else is still going to do so. evil laugh: hahahahahhahahahaha!
and so i may not be a full time patrakar at republica anymore, but i am still a dot in kathmandu and will always be. and i will continue writing here and there and wherever i can.