Where was the ‘Swor’ in Swor?

Just another Sunday with me and my day off filled with activities from dawn to dusk (literally)! On the schedule of things to achieve for the day was going to Jai Nepal to watch Raj Ballav’s Swor.

NOTE: IF YOU WANT TO READ ONLY THE MOVIE REVIEW, SKIP THE FOLLOWING THREE PARAGRAPHS. I TEND TO WRITE A WHOLESOME STORY. hahahaha. SPOILER ALERT.

Even before the movie started, i had a series of adventure which involved my friend’s bike malfunction, thus forcing him to take a cab from sanepa, which cost him rs 400 in heavy heavy traffic of ktm (on top of that the PM was being sworn in re), ani then he reached the hall at 4 pm, when half the movie had already gone…phew! it was so embarrassing waiting at the entrance of the hall…like i had all the time in the world to do so…

never mind all of that. we got tickets for 6 pm and went back to sanepa in a taxi, this time it cost us rs 200. and sipped some lalitpur tea while the bike was being fixed at a roadside workshop. we got on and had some time for icecream at saleways and then reached jai nepal right at 6 pm to watch the third show of the day! phew…

and then, the staff at jai nepal was like..oh…there’s half an hour long AD at the beginning…dude, so you’re also paying for the advertisements…like dolphin education that has a duck talking about i don’t know what the heck…and ncell ads. but i have ntc, and i also got GPRS..tara tyesko lagi TOWER chahincha kya. ani i heard that, hamro office central jail ko side ma bhayeko hunale , we don’t have the TOWER! kya theory hai?

okay about the movie, i read Dipendra dai’s review on the last page of Nagarik. it came out yesterday. it was hilarious and yes, bitter as well. and then i was going through the facebook page of swor and found the comments on the wall very very very interesting. hahahahahhaha.  i did LIKE the movie on facebook.

Swor, swor, swor….k bhanne, this movie should have been titled ‘SWOPNIL’ kya, a character played by a Raj Ballav Koirala. (He has played a  character of swopnil in the movie swor. A lively youth, somewhat  shy but  quite popular and loved by his gang of friends from the college. http://www.swormovie.com)

Why i say so? it’s because there is nothing really about the band called Swor. they just come out of the blues and then become famous (sabai patrika ko front cover ma photo kya…tyo ta 1974 AD le ni pako chaina hola..) and then the hero gets beaten up on stage…by gundas whom he had earlier fought to protect is gf: a character of nisha (She has played a girl next door, someone who you can easily relate to, a happy go lucky character who hides all her sorrows beneath and spreads smile all over. http://www.swormovie.com).

the background music for the fighting scene went like this : zuzuzuzuzuzuzuzu, zuzuzuzuzuzu, zuzuzuzuzuzu. it was nice going zuzuzuzuzuzu. at least the dishum dishum part was quite convincing.

the first part is all lovie dovie stuff. apparently this gang of friends is a band in a college, but we only see a character of swopnil playing the guitar occasionally, on his bardali (balcony). khai, ani he is an adopted son kyare, but even that is so unclear..the character of a mother is always wearing white sari, but we never know anything about the family and also of the other families of the other characters.

See, i like sugam pokharel and first song ‘superstar’ one. i like it. it is catchy and i like the way it has been shot in Durbar marg and all that jazz. get the music cd, it’s worth it.

and a character of swopnil in sipping coke (hola) and eaing some kati roll (jasto lagyo), walking past KFC. BUT HELLLOOOO!!! it was almost half time and I had no inkling of the so called ‘Superstar’..by then a character of swopnil and friends are still involved in pattaune a character of nisha. and so i was like, this is just another love story with a secondary story of a so called swor band. Then why not keep the title of the movie after a character of swopnil, jo afno sapana mai ramauthiyo, or sth like that.

The tagline of the film: The melody of Dreams is sort of deceiving. I guess, like ek din ek raat, this could have just been a simple love story. after all, there are plenty of us, who like love stories..no matter now cheesy they are.

and then, hello…the whole setting moves to pokhara..to dam side and lake side. and i to hell don’t know which cul-de-sac housing they shot the movie in. location ko ta atto patto chaina. looks like kathmandu, and then looks like pokhara, then khokana ko temple, so confusing… aba i guess one can shoot a song in switzerland (it’s the norm nai), but the entire story ko ta location thaha hunu paryo ni, hoina? so i wasn’t really sure what was happening in terms of location.

in one part, a character of swopnil gets on a taxi during the day which looks like kathmandu and goes on and on and on…and then it turns DARK. so i guess, he took a cab from kathmandu to pokhara. and then, came back for his concert. at least, i thought so. k tha?

This band Swor never practices and then when they are about to do so one fine day, after a character of nisha has been pataofied, a character of swopnil’s mother kicks them out of the house. for the rest of the movie, we don’t know where the band practices (because they don’t) or where a character of swonpil lives and eats.

despite all that, they do a mega concert and that’s when the gundas come and bash up the band members. and lo and behold, only a character of swopnil gets seriously injured. A character each of Soni, Akash, Jiya, Jay and Mohan (not band member tho), escape the gundas pitai.

alas, a character of swopnil lays in a hospital bed (don’t know which….and there’s a nurse, no doctor pani), with a bandaged head and leg. dude, i thought that he had lost his voice…c’mom..SWOR sanga kehi ta relation hunu paryo ni, hoina. BUT NOOOO! a character of swopnil has had a brain hemorrhage, and his chances of survival are slim…and the operation is expensive. then Reeyaz music cancels their contract with SWOR band.

but the characters of the band want to raise funds for operation in a mega come back concert, which hardly has an audience.

the last song is nice, except for the part where a character each of soni and jiya, sing kani kani with tears rolling down their eyes. oh i forgot to mention that a character of nisha…she’s just in and out all the time CRYING! the entire second half is all Rona and Dhona. But sadly, i didn’t cry…even though i always have tissue with me. i just couldn’t cry. i remember darpan chayya was quite emotional..hehehe. watched that at bishwojyoti.

AND THEN: DUDESSSS, a character of Swopnil actually DIESSS. this is the biggest breakthrough in a Nepali film. he actually dies and there i was in disbelief. he collapses, well..after he finishes singing the last song, and then dude, he doesn’t wake up. that was a shock. hmm…me and my friends were like: “OH..HERO MARYO…YO TA GAJAB NAI BHAYO NI TA!”

i think the funniest part of the movie for me was the last last part, four years later, i think. a character of nisha, whom earlier had professed her love for, of all things, PAINTING! but obviously, never even holds a brush and has no paintings in her room..only teddy bears nicely balanced on her bed (at least four of them)…never mind.

She’s like: maile swopnil ko tasveer haru canvas ma utarna khojeki chu..REEEE. DUDE, all over the ‘gallery’ were photographs of him kya, tyo pani pose pose ma. harey harey harey.

no one will believe this…but i just sprained my leg (i got up from the chair and fell)…it’s swollen. some curse has befallen me…

anyways, as i continue to type with my leg stretched in front of me…i must say that i love some of the dialogue in the movie. can’t remember them now, thanks to my sprained leg..it’s painful.

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