I am so glad that you have started to write. I love reading monologues that are honest and are about the everydays of life…that escape our minds because we are so caught up in trying to catch that bus or train (in your case).
Kathmandu is a strange city. I have been home for nearly a year now and this city drives me crazy. It scares me. It makes me unhappy. It is cruel. It is dirty. But the little joys that it gives me, helps me overlook all of that. After all, this is where I was born and raised. This city defines me.
A micro bus ride home at 7 pm is terrorizing. The push and pull of dozens of bodies of strangers – someone’s hand might just slip off of that nailed strap, which used to be a seat belt, and fall out of the speeding van. It is a crazy scene and yet there is solace in it – that all of us are trying to get back home to have dinner with our families.
The walls of Kathmandu are a mess – from political slogans in dripping paints to lame ‘Fuck’ graffitis (what is the fascination with the word? lame imitations…) The latest of movie posters on the wall in front of the Police Headquarters and right behind the Ganesh Mandir – ‘The Flash Back: Pharkera Herda’ dominates. A poster with an extreme close up of the hero n heroine kissing, awkwardly, currently stretches across the city.
I was shocked and embarrassed for the first few days – i felt awkward walking past them (but it did make me go to the cinema and watch the movie with friends…a whole different story to blog about someday.) But yesterday, I passed by the same street and the posters had been ripped off, right where the lips of the ‘hero heroine’ were locked. Everything else is intact.
This is Kathmandu. More often that not, it is immoral. Yet, it is not always asleep.
And so Sanu….
Yes, I have many times, gone up to the roof of my house to take a moment with the stars. I dance to myself in the dark because I feel like it. I sing to myself because no one will judge. I sway with the zephyr on the ledge because it makes me feel free. And in the darkness, there may not be light in the city, but the stars – they are always there.
Never stop dreaming…
and don’t stop writing.